We followed his wishes for cremation, with his ashes spread over the family farm, as were his parents. The kids, Grandkids and I are traveling to his beloved Cumberland Gap next month to spread ashes from his powder horn there. He would have loved that. The Gap and its history fascinated Steve, I believe he'd loved to been a part of that time. We all love family road trips and this will be a bittersweet one for us.
Courtney got home a few days before her dad passed, we were so blessed by that. She is staying till Sept 14, helping me adjust to this new life. I may visit her and Ken in the Spring, as Steve and I talked of doing. He was curious to see that beautiful place, but I will see it for him and share in our daughter's new home. We wanted to help them with their gardens and chicken house, as they are not old hands at country life. Court lived it as a child, but as the youngest missed out on most of the real workings of it. Even in their city apartment she had a lovely flower bed and hanging garden though, and Ken has grass sown and beds dug at the new house.
Stephen and Trent have kept up our mowing and trimming all summer to their dad's standards, I'm telling them I can take over but they won't listen. I will make acquaintance with the new mower soon though, as I haven't mowed since Steve retired. Nina and the boys have saved Steve's garden bounty, too. Picking, canning, freezing and giving away most of what he produced. I'm betting next year's garden will pale to this one, I haven't the stamina or green thumb my Stephen King did.
Our kids and grands have been so strong through this, always supporting the others in their pain. I'm blessed with such a close, loving family. They each know he loved them and was proud of who they are. Steve's sisters and my family have been beside us constantly, too, doing whatever they could for him and me. We've been a family for nearly 50 years, King or Charles, it makes no difference, we love each other the same.
I know that I'm going through the motions of living right now, on cruise control, Steve would say. But each day it gets more real and more difficult. I get quiet, trying to feel him around me, trying to come to grips with reality. I know I will be ok, life will be different but ok. I know we will be together again some day.
It has been so long since I've posted, this may not be read, but I needed to write it. Talk to me. Love.